Casual dating can be such good times, but if you don’t put some boundaries in place and be honest with yourself, you’re in for a world of pain – because David from touch footy WILL sleep with you for three months and then literally disappear when you ask if you should stop seeing other people. That is, if you go all Pisces (like Mel) and catch feelings, then try to win him over while pretending you’re chill with him flirting with Sally on the field each week.

The bottom line is to be honest with yourself, and then be upfront with the person you’re hanging out with. No games, no pretending to be chill. The pain of rejection when you know you were true to yourself and were honest about your feelings and boundaries will be WAY less than the pain of a person you were secretly falling for just not caring (and probably starting to date Sally right in front of your face, so fun).

Dating can be a minefield, we all need all the help we can get!

There can’t be feelings

Casual dating by definition is about sex or hang-outs without romantic connection. Where is goes wrong is when we catch feelings but don’t admit it to ourselves or think we can change the situation to a relationship over time.

Spoiler: this never works unless BOTH parties grow feelings. It’ll be pretty obvious if the other person likes you back, and if it’s not obvious – they don’t. Sorry!

You need rules

And you need to communicate them. A respectful casual thing will mean you feel comfortable talking about boundaries. These can be everything from using protection, to dating other people.

A big one – Are you comfortable with this person sleeping with other people, and how much do you want to know about their dating life?

Don’t just ‘see what happens’.

Speak up if things change

If you catch feelings, firstly OOFT, I feel you as a Pisces. Secondly, you have to speak up. Don’t keep sleeping with this person or hanging with them because it feels good. It will start to feel bad, because you will want more from them than they’re giving you.

Tell them you like them and be clear about what you want from the relationship now feelings have changed. It sucks but it’s worth it.

Know when to walk away

If you have feelings and they aren’t reciprocated.

If you are not being respected.

If it makes you feel worse more often than it makes you feel good.

If the sex is not good (no sex over bad sex!)

If you spend a lot of time dissecting their behaviour (it’s meant to be uncomplicated).